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You know you're getting older when...
People call at 9 pm and ask, "Did I wake you?"
You wake up looking like your driver's license.
You begin sentences with, "Nowadays..."
Okay, and this is pretty funny too:
Did you ever think that:
One day you would drive a fancy truck that you bought for over $50,000 and costs over $100 to fill with gas, with big cushy bags that pop out into your face and body if it's involved in an accident, and listen to 22 speakers in it blasting 1,000 watts of Mick Jagger's latest album from a 6 inch wireless music player with 40,000 songs and 12 movies somehow stored on it, and an only slightly larger gadget that electronically displays a map accompanied by a soothing voice that directs you to a store that stays open 24 hours a day where you can buy, while being photographed by a thimble-sized camera, both a 42 oz. drink with no calories that makes it feel as though your brain is frozen and a phone from a company named after a person who has not had set yet, without any wires that costs $200 and plays Bob Dylan's Positively 4th Street when it rings, that you can use immediately to call China for less than 5 cents a minute from your truck that maintains its interior air temperature at 72 degrees, to order an illegally copied operating system for $10 for your very own computer that you use to write your personal thoughts for all the world to see in something called a blog.
Ha ha.